


Soothe me

by GoForGoals



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22924327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoForGoals/pseuds/GoForGoals
Summary: Kai is there for him when Julian picks up an injury. (It’s the story of "Feel me", told from Julian’s POV.)
Relationships: Julian Brandt/Kai Havertz
Comments: 8
Kudos: 38





	Soothe me

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Feel me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22649647) by [GoForGoals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoForGoals/pseuds/GoForGoals). 



> I wanted to write "Feel me" from Julian’s POV.

Pain.

Everywhere.

Julian lies in his bed, curled up into a ball. His ankle is hurting but that is by far not the worst pain that he is feeling.

There’s a big, empty hole inside him that consumed every other emotion, his anger, his frustration, his despair.

Julian knows that he will soon be fine again, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to continue playing with his injury. That’s not the point.

The point is Kai.

Seeing him in the stadium that was his home for years has hurt. Playing against him was even worse. But not being able to finish the match was the worst.

Memories.  
  
Everywhere.

Memories of the countless matches they have played together, their goal celebrations, the fun they had in training.

It is all over.

Julian has wanted to make that move, of course he did. But the consequences hit him especially on days like today.

Absentmindedly, he rubs over his injured foot as if the pain could tell him a tale of its own.

He sighs, feeling the other pain in his body. The empty space.

Closing his eyes, Julian thinks of Kai, wondering if he would come to see him tonight. He’s quite sure that Kai will.

They have something going on for quite a while now, nights in which the next day doesn’t matter. Julian tries to remember when they have last been together this way. '  
  
Naked and panting and intertwined.

He realizes that their last time has been much too long ago and he gazes at his watch. If Kai comes here, he should arrive within the next fifteen minutes. Julian knows him, he knows his routines after a match.

The memory cuts like a knife again.

At least, the painkillers do their job and the ache in Julian’s ankle fades to a dull, bearable throbbing.

Ten minutes until Kai should be here.

Julian isn’t sure if he is able to sleep alone tonight, after his first real injury. After returning to the place where he has been so happy for so many years. Where he grew up, from a teenager to an adult.

Yet, there is his new team. He doesn’t regret his decision, he feels at home with BVB too. But tonight, he needs Kai more than ever.

Five minutes.

Julian doesn’t move, still staring at the wall of his bedroom. Kai has been here before. He has fucked him here before. They both have fucked each other here before, without any boundaries.

Just when Julian thinks of their last time together, how close he has been to Kai back then, he hears the slightest noise and he knows everything he needs to know.

Kai is here.

Julian is patient now, he waits until Kai has really arrived, has taken in the scent and the sight of his flat. Until he has shaken off the match. Julian’s breath comes evenly now and he only turns around when he knows that Kai is standing right next to him. He finds Kai’s gaze and doesn’t need to say anything.

He will be loved.

At least tonight.

***

Kai is stripping for him, revealing his chest and his long legs, tossing away his socks, everything, except for his briefs.

It takes Julian just a simple gesture to change that.

Seeing Kai naked and bare, so vulnerable and pure, touches Julian to the core. A sudden wave of lust rushes through him, so raw and urgent, that he can only say one sentence: "Drawer. As ever."

They store their lube there and Julian knows that Kai doesn’t have to ask who will take whom tonight. He needs Kai inside him, as a part of his body. A body that is injured and never whole without Kai either.

Kai nods and bends over to the drawer; moments that Julian uses to get undressed as well. He can’t wait to feel Kai’s skin against his, to feel Kai’s tongue in his mouth.

Their first kiss is sheer hunger. Julian can’t get enough of Kai, he wants to feel him and wants to be felt by him in equal parts.

Julian is hard ever since he has heard Kai turning his key around in the lock. He doesn’t need much foreplay tonight, glad that Kai notices, taking the bottle with the lube.

Feeling the cold liquid against his butt is a blessing and a curse at the same time. It is incredibly good to have Kai’s fingers there but by far not enough, only increasing Julian’s desire.

And then there’s something else than Kai’s fingers, something bigger.

Julian tenses up at first. No matter how often they have done this before, he always asks himself how Kai is going to fit inside him.

Involuntarily, Julian searches for Kai’s fingers, holding his hand, while the pressure gets stronger. There’s so much of Kai wanting to become a part of him, and there’s also Kai stroking his fingers.

"Breathe, Jule," Kai whispers and Julian does his best to take deep breaths, to give in to him.

And then Kai is inside.

Julian lets out something between a sob and a moan, caught in his pain and his pleasure. There’s another kind of ache but the emptiness inside him is completely erased.

"Shh, it’s fine," Kai soothes him and damn, is he right. For once, everything is fine. Slowly, Julian reduces the tight grip around Kai’s hand, encouraging him to move. God, how much he wants him to move now.

Julian loves Kai’s gentle thrusts, the way he starts with shallow pushes, meant to get Julian used to having sex with him. And he loves the little kisses that Kai peppers over his neck.

But most of all, he loves Kai himself.

Julian can’t tell him that, they have never talked about their feelings or about anything they were doing in those long, endless nights. „Kai…", he pants instead, begging for more.

Kai understands. His next thrust reaches deeper and when Kai lifts Julian’s leg he knows that he has never been so opened up before.

The feeling of Kai filling every inch of him, spreading him open, doesn’t leave Julian unaffected. Between more deep thrusts, between moans and suppressed love confessions, he takes a decision.

But first, he lets Kai fuck him with everything they both have to give and to take. Kai fucks him straight into and straight through a breathtaking orgasm. Julian comes so hard that he doesn’t notice at first that Kai is still searching for his release but when he does, he just gives him a sign and Kai comes inside him, all gorgeous and pulsing.

Afterwards, Kai holds Julian so close that he can even feel his heartbeat. Listening to the steady rhythm of Kai’s heart, Julian understands that something has changed between them.

"What was that?“ he whispers, turning around to see the man he loves more than anything else.

There’s wonder written all over Kai’s face too when he tries to reply. "I…" he starts but he doesn’t come further. Instead, he starts again. "Can I stay?" Kai asks and Julian feels sheer bliss. How much he has always wanted this. Sleeping in Kai’s arms. Holding him throughout the night.

"Yes," Julian says, taking a heart. "You have to," he adds.

Julian is quite sure that Kai knows what he is about to say but he asks nevertheless. "Why?" he whispers.

"Because I need to tell you something," Julian replies, feeling Kai’s fingers stroking him.

"And that is?" Kai asks.

Julian takes a deep breath. He needs to say it now, needs to let out what he held back for months. "I’m in love with you," Julian admits, feeling light like a feather after his confession.

Kai’s next words take him straight to Cloud Number Nine. "I fell in love with you too," Kai says, kissing Julian. A kiss like a promise, Julian thinks, a promise of more nights - and mornings - to come.


End file.
